A select few:
The rest here. If these don't get you laughing, well then... there's nothing I can do for you.
Via Owni via The Agitator
That which was most sadd & lamentable was, that in 2. or 3. moneths time halfe of their company dyed.When the settlers finally stopped croaking, they set about creating a heaven on earth, a society without private property, where all worked for the common good. Everything was shared. Especially bitching and moaning about working for the common good. Bradford again:
Yong-men that were most able and fitte for labour and service did repine that they should spend their time and streingth to worke for other mens wives and children, with out any recompense....And for men's wives to be commanded to doe service for other men, as dresing their meate, washing their cloaths, etc., they deemed it a kind of slavery, neither could many husbands well brooke it.With nobody working, everybody was suffering. And in case you think nobody was working simply because they couldn't understand a damn thing Bradford was saying, chew on this: In 1623, Bradford and the other leaders
...assigned to every family a parceel of land...this had very good success; for it made all hands very industrious, so as much more torne was planted then other waise would have bene by any means the Govr or any other could use, and saved him a great deall of trouble, and gave farr better contente.In no time at all
any generall wante of famine hath not been amongest them since to this day.America would never go hungry again. So this week, before you drift into your annual tryptophan-induced coma, don't forget to give thanks to the true patron of this holiday feast: property rights.
Now if you want to fly, suck it up and accept that you have to submit to the security procedures. Yes you think they are stupid or unnecessary but TSA officers and TSA don’t care what you think. They try to make it all warm and fuzzy but they can’t because it is security not a trip to Disney World. Shut up and get in the scanner or don’t fly.
New Tron Legacy trailer. I said, NEW TRON LEGACY TRAILER! By the way, Disney, this movie better be good or I will kidnap Mickey, drown him in gasoline and torch that bloody rat. Watch it and get into the grid. More »
I identify as a scientist, but I gotta admit: When I saw this video from Steve Spangler Science, my first impulse was to jump back from the computer, cross myself, and douse the screen with holy water. It reminded me of a line from John Carpenter's underappreciated 1987 horror movie, Prince of Darkness:
And we assume time is an arrow because it is as a clock...Cause precedes effect - fruit rots, water flows downstream. We're born, we age, we die. The reverse NEVER happens...Unless, apparently, you're dealing with a system operating under conditions of laminar flow. Obviously, there is no real "violation" of the second law of thermodynamics, here, but because almost all of our intuitions about how liquids are going to behave are formed under conditions of turbulent flow, it sure does seem like it. [Thanks, Alan Dove!]
Remember boys and girls, it's not about safety and serving the public good, its about paying the cops' salaries and making you cow to their authority. | |
[UPDATE BELOW] Sometimes the NYPD's inanity is so perfect, so immaculately risible, that you just want to burst into applause and toss a bouquet of roses onto the hood of a squad car. Today is one of those days. According to a tipster, a cop parked in the bike lane on First Avenue near 23rd Street proceeded to write tickets for cyclists who weren't using the bike lane, because they had to ride around him to get by. This is presumably part of the new crackdown on scofflaw cyclists, and hey—sometimes you have to destroy a bike lane in order to save it. (How come there's never a clown cop around when you need one?) Our source says: This morning I received a ticket on the corner of 14th and 1st for not riding in a bike lane. The lane was being blocked by a cop car and as I pulled around it a cop pulled me over and informed me of my infraction. About 5 or 6 other cyclists got the same treatment. The cop later moved his car so that it wasn't in the bike lane (but was now parked squarely in the turning lane).Our unlucky tipster says his ticket is for $130 for "Reckless operation of bicycle." We've put in a request for comment with the NYPD press office, and we're sure they'll get back to us STAT. In the meantime, here is the city's law about cyclists and bike lanes: 34 RCNY § 4-12(p) Bicycles. (1) Bicycle riders to use bicycle lanes. Whenever a usable path or lane for bicycles has been provided, bicycle riders shall use such path or lane only except under any of the following situations: (i) When preparing for a turn at an intersection or into a private road or driveway. (ii) When reasonably necessary to avoid conditions (including but not limited to, fixed or moving objects, motor vehicles, bicycles, pedestrians, pushcarts, animals, surface hazards) that make it unsafe to continue within such bicycle path or lane.Attorney Gideon Oliver writes in to tell us that after consulting with our tipster, he's determined that the ticket he was issued is for a NYCAC 19-176 violation. "That’s the bicycling on the sidewalk part of the code," Oliver tells us. "It’s irresponsible—and illegal—for the NYPD to crackdown on 'scofflaw' cyclists using provisions of law or regulation that don’t apply to bicyclists (i.e., ticketing bicyclists for reckless operation of a motor vehicle or for riding outside the bike lane in violation of state laws that don’t apply in NYC). "It’s also irresponsible and illegal, not to mention dangerous and just plain nonsensical, for NYPD officers to set up 'checkpoints' to ticket cyclists by illegally parking police vehicles in bike lanes, forcing cyclists out of the bike lanes and into the streets, then citing cyclists for “reckless operation of a bicycle” in violation of NYC Administrative Code 19-176 - a provision of local law prohibiting bicycling on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, Commissioner Kelly’s NYPD is not interested in making the roads safer for cyclists, and these tickets are good for buffing summons stats, so it’s likely we’ll continue to see this kind of outrageous police misconduct, including issuing facially insufficient and illegal summonses and flat-out perjury, in the future." via Copblock via Gothamist | |
via BLACKLISTEDNEWS.COM on 10/27/10
Let's face it: Most Americans don't have much use for either of the major political parties and think it would be better to dump the entire Congress on Election Day.
What about your chances of dying in an airplane crash? A one-year risk of one in 400,000 and one in 5,000 lifetime risk. What about walking across the street? A one-year risk of one in 48,500 and a lifetime risk of one in 625. Drowning? A one-year risk of one in 88,000 and a one in 1100 lifetime risk. In a fire? About the same risk as drowning. Murder? A one-year risk of one in 16,500 and a lifetime risk of one in 210. What about falling? Essentially the same as being murdered. And the proverbial being struck by lightning? A one-year risk of one in 6.2 million and a lifetime risk of one in 80,000. And what is the risk that you will die of a catastrophic asteroid strike? In 1994, astronomers calculated that the chance was one in 20,000. However, as they've gathered more data on the orbits of near earth objects, the lifetime risk has been reduced to one in 200,000 or more.
So how do these common risks compare to your risk of dying in a terrorist attack? To try to calculate those odds realistically, Michael Rothschild, a former business professor at the University of Wisconsin, worked out a couple of plausible scenarios. For example, he figured that if terrorists were to destroy entirely one of America's 40,000 shopping malls per week, your chances of being there at the wrong time would be about one in one million or more. Rothschild also estimated that if terrorists hijacked and crashed one of America's 18,000 commercial flights per week that your chance of being on the crashed plane would be one in 135,000.
Even if terrorists were able to pull off one attack per year on the scale of the 9/11 atrocity, that would mean your one-year risk would be one in 100,000 and your lifetime risk would be about one in 1300. (300,000,000 ÷ 3,000 = 100,000 ÷ 78 years = 1282) In other words, your risk of dying in a plausible terrorist attack is much lower than your risk of dying in a car accident, by walking across the street, by drowning, in a fire, by falling, or by being murdered.
Aiyana Jones was killed in a raid on the wrong house. |